The Frex Hunters: Halloween
by Ultimate Queen of Cliffies
Summary: Here we go again! Morrible magic-spelled Frex back to life and the Frex Hunters are setting out to get them both. Meanwhile, Izzy acts like a drill sergeant, Kat chops off legs left and right, we fight over Frex and Morrible's head, we make up new Frex Hunter songs, and we have a nice Halloween surprise for Caricature of a Witch.


**AN: This is a little bit early, because I have to be at uni early tomorrow and I didn't want to keep you waiting for too long! But here we are - the Frex Hunters coming back to life. Hope you like it. Utter ridiculousness, that's what it is.**

**Caricature of a Witch: I put you in here without your permission, because it was just too perfect. I didn't think you'd mind, since you were in the second FH fic, but if you do, let me know and I'll change it!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Wicked. I don't own Oz, Frex, or Morrible. I also don't own Izzy, Stefy, Siarenthander, Ozzie, EmeraldReine, Kat, BlueD, Elphiesglinda, Failey, Scarlett, Moreanswers24, Elphaba-WWW, Nia, Turner Child, Fae Tiggular, Musicgal, Elphaba'sGirl, or Caricature of a Witch. I do, however, own myself. Yay for me.**

* * *

'Alright, everyone!' barks Izzy. She paces up and down with her hands behind her back, glaring at the Frex Hunters, who are all standing across from her, bolt upright, waiting for instructions.

'You're going to be trained to be the best Frex Hunters you can be!' Izzy slowly walks down the line of people, inspecting each and every one of them. 'You're too thin,' she tells Stefy. 'Grow some muscles and gain some weight. _You_,' she points at Siarenthander, nearly poking her in the eye. 'Are _way _too small. Did you really think you could take Frex?' She turns on her heels and brings her face close to Ozzie's. 'And you,' she hisses, 'were gasping for breath. _Gasping. For. Breath. _After the previous exercise.'

'The previous exercise was to run around a field for fifteen minutes!' Ozzie protests. 'We were _all _gasping for breath!'

'Not good enough!' Izzy barks, and when I place my hand on her shoulder, she whirls around and nearly knocks her elbow in my face. 'Whoa!' I jump back. 'Look out!'

'Then don't creep up on me from behind!'

Now it's _my _turn to glare. 'Izzy. Calm down,' I tell her sternly. 'We're supposed to teach them, not give them a complex. Plus,' I add sarcastically, 'you're the Princess of Cliffies, and this is rather unbecoming behaviour for a princess.'

'I thought _I _was the Princess of Cliffies,' EmeraldReine says in a whiny voice, earning herself a glare from Izzy. I sigh. 'You both are,' I tell them. 'Hell, you can all be Princesses of Cliffies if you want to be, as long as you still bow before me as your Queen. Now can we get started?'

I look at all of them. 'So there's different murder techniques you can teach yourself,' I begin. I point at Kat. 'Kat there can teach you how to wield swords and cut people's legs off with them. It's her specialty.'

'Can I do Frex and Morrible's legs?' she begs. 'Please?'

I roll my eyes. 'Sure. BlueD?'

She steps forward and salutes. 'Yes, Your Majesty.'

'BlueD is an expert with all kinds of guns,' I tell the others. 'Failey there loves pitchforks, and… Elphiesglinda,' I interrupt myself, 'why in Oz are you looking like a mass murderer?'

She flashes me a grin. Her face looks rather creepy – she has given herself fake scars using make-up, and she wiggles the knives that are attached to her gloves at me. 'I like horror movies,' is her fabulous excuse.

I roll my eyes again. 'Great. Just great.' I wave them away. 'Just go ahead already. Izzy will keep an eye on how you all work.'

BlueD and Failey come to stand next to me as we watch the others for a while. The two of them, along with Wicked4Life, who couldn't make it today, and me are basically the founders of the Frex Hunters. I can't believe it has already been such a long time since we first set out to murder him. 'What do you guys think?'

'I think I want Frex's head again this time,' offers BlueD, and I shake my head frantically. 'Oh, no,' I declare. 'No way. So that you can invite us over for 'dinner' again?'

Her grin is answer enough.

Failey chuckles, then says, 'I think they'll be ready soon, though. Kat is _really _good with those swords, and Scarlett is rather creative with stiletto heels.' She wears an approving expression as she adds, 'Though I really like Moreanswers24, since she also likes the pitchforks.'

I moan softly. 'Go, and hunt him, and find him, and kill him…'

'Dancing on graves,' BlueD chimes in happily. 'Down at the graveyard…'

'Just for this moment!' Failey belts. 'As long as he's dead!'

Soon, Stefy and Elphaba-WWW join us. 'But he isn't dead, is he?' the latter asks when we're done singing. 'Or you wouldn't have called us all together again.'

I rub my face. 'No, he's not,' I grumble. 'Morrible, that old witch, brought him back to life again.'

Stefy whoops. 'So we get to kill him again!'

'Can we kill Morrible, too?' Elphaba-WWW asks eagerly, and I wave my hand. 'Sure. Never liked the old fish-head.'

The others giggle at that, but the sound is soon overcome by Izzy's shouts. 'You're supposed to _stab _him with that knife, not _tickle_ him!'

'But I pierced the doll!' Nia protests. I turn around and see that, indeed, she has pierced the doll we use to practise on with her knife, to the point where it actually comes out at the back. Clearly, though, Izzy isn't happy.

'No, no, no!' She yanks the knife from Nia's hands and attacks the doll, letting out frustrated shrieks and Tarzan-like howls as she starts chopping and hacking at the doll until there's nothing left of it but some loose shreds of fabric hanging from the wooden frame.

'_That _is how you do it,' she tells Nia, before handing her the knife back and moving on to her next victim – I mean, student. Nia looks completely flabbergasted and quickly approaches us. 'Could you teach me how to use the shotgun, BlueD?'

BlueD's face brightens, happy to have a student. 'Of course!' The two girls immediately leave, BlueD showing Nia how to use the gun.

EmeraldReine walks up to me. 'I'm scared,' she stage whispers to me behind her hand. 'Izzy is creepy.'

I giggle. 'Tell me about it.'

Just then, Izzy passes us, and we cringe in anticipation; but instead of yelling at us, she holds out a tray. 'Brownie?'

EmeraldReine wants to take one, but my eyes widen and I lunge forward. 'No!' I yell. 'Everyone drop your brownies!'

The others stiffen and turn to stare at me, and Izzy just glowers. 'Maddy!'

'No.' I shake my head. 'No way. I don't trust you and your brownies,' I declare. I push her ahead of me. 'Let's just go. I think we're ready for some murder.'

Her face brightens at that. 'Yay!'

* * *

'Let's make up a new Hunter song,' Turner Child suggests as we walk along, and most of the others perk up. 'Yeah!'

'Which song?' Elphiesglinda asks, and they think about it for a while. 'Defying Gravity?' offers Fae Tiggular, before starting to belt. 'Tell them how we are attacking Morrible! Kiss her goodbye, 'cause she is horrible!'

We all burst out laughing.

'And because I killed her,' Siarenthander sings.

'Because I killed her,' Turner Child echoes.

'She will be dead for good!' Siarenthander finishes.

'Let's hope so,' BlueD chuckles, and I make a face. 'You can say that again.'

'More songs?' Failey asks hopefully, and we all think about it for a while.

'Knives flash,' Musicgal starts at the melody of I'm Not That Girl. 'Swords pierce…'

Failey immediately picks it up. 'Frex keeps fighting, but we are fierce!'

'Swords keep chopping off his legs!' Kat supplies happily.

'Doesn't take too long,' Scarlett sings. 'To bring down the Frex!'

Elphaba'sGirl clearly enjoys herself as well. 'Job done, we turn…'

'Now we want to see Morrible burn!' Nia grins.

'Pitchforks ready, we slice her gut…' Of course that's BlueD. Always happy to do creepy things to people's intestines.

'Then we kick her butt!' Elphaba-WWW squeals.

'And she is gone!' Musicgal finishes, after which they all collapse with laughter again.

'Ssh,' I silence them. 'Guys, as much as I love singing with you, we're almost there. And we don't want to chase them away before we can kill them, now do we?'

'Everyone ready?' Izzy barks in her drill sergeant voice, and the others salute, even though no one told them to. Failey and Moreanswers24 stick their pitchforks up in the air, while BlueD waves her shotgun around; Kat casually inspects her swords, and Elphiesglinda grins as she flexes and bends the knives on her glove. Most of the others have smaller swords or knives. Then I catch sight of Scarlett.

'Scarlett,' I say, and she looks up. 'What's _that_?'

She holds up her 'weapon'. 'High heels!'

I quirk an eyebrow.

'They're stiletto heels!' she giggles. 'They're really painful when you stick them in someone's eye!' she promises, and Failey nods in agreement. 'I saw her practising with those things,' she stage whispers to me. 'That girl can do more damage with a shoe than most of us can with a gun.'

I roll my eyes. 'Okay, fine,' I concede, at which Scarlett immediately launches herself at me in a hug, jumping up and down. It takes Izzy and BlueD to pry her off me.

'Ready then?' Failey asks, and the others nod. Stefy pokes her fist high up in the air. 'Let's do this!'

We approach the house. We send Stefy, Kat, and Turner Child ahead to investigate; but before long, we hear screeching from inside the house. We share a look and break into a run, storming through the front door.

'What happened?' I ask Stefy in bewilderment as I catch sight of Kat trying to wrestle Frex down. Stefy makes a face. 'Kat saw Frex, shouted 'I WILL CHOP OFF YOUR LEGS!' and attacked him,' she says drily.

Turner Child is already helping Kat, and before long, they're both sitting on top of Frex, who is lying on the floor. Morrible suddenly comes in, eyes widening as she takes in the sight before her. 'What in Oz…' She raises her hands, magic crackling, muttering a spell under her breath. She directs the magic at me and Stefy, and we both freeze.

Suddenly, there's another flash of magic, hitting Morrible square in the chest. She wobbles and crashes down onto the floor, and behind me, I hear, 'Crikey!'

I turn around, only to see Ozzie standing there, looking completely stunned.

'Did you do that?' Fae Tiggular asks in wonder, and Ozzie blinks. 'I… think so.'

Siarenthander gapes at her. 'You have _magic_?'

'I… I guess.' Ozzie starts jumping up and down. 'Oh my Oz, I have magic!'

'Someone grab Morrible, quickly!' BlueD shouts as the old witch tries to make her way over to the back door. Immediately, Elphaba-WWW, Nia, and Elphiesglinda are all over her, pushing her down onto the floor.

'Swords chop,' we hear someone sing, and when we turn around, we see that it's Kat, happily hacking at Frex's legs. Behind her, Turner Child is punching Frex repeatedly in the face. 'Fists punch… Soon we will have Frex for lunch!'

Scarlett squeals, then bounces towards Morrible and starts to work her stiletto heel magic. She has lit the stilettos on fire and is currently piercing Morrible's eye with the heel of one of the shoes. 'Ew,' I mutter.

Frex starts to struggle, and Failey and EmeraldReine quickly run to help Kat and Turner Child. Elphiesglinda sinks her glove-knives into Morrible's arms, as Nia is doing a little dance in high heels on the old fish's back.

'Shall we finish Frex?' Musicgal suggests, and Ozzie starts jumping up and down. 'Oh, can I? Please?'

I make an inviting gesture. 'Go ahead.'

She jumps over to where Frex is still being held down by her fellow Frex Hunters, screaming as Kat chops off his legs and Failey sets his hair on fire. Ozzie bends over him so that she is looking at him upside down.

'G'day, mate,' she says with a big grin. 'It's time to die!'

His eyes widen, and she extends her arms. A bolt of magic shoots out of her fingers, hitting Frex in the face. He screeches like a little girl.

'OhmyOzohmyOzohmyOz!' Scarlett bounces over to hug Ozzie. 'That's so cool!'

'I want Morrible's legs!' Kat declares, rising to her feet and moving over towards Morrible. BlueD takes a knife and slices open Frex's stomach; then she pokes her shotgun inside him – quite literally – and fires it. Frex faints. BlueD shoots again and again. Fae Tiggular approaches, lets out a Tarzan howl, and chops off Frex's head with an axe.

Meanwhile, Kat is now working on Morrible's legs as Moreanswers24 pokes her repeatedly with a pitchfork – Morrible, that is, not Kat. Elphaba-WWW is swinging on the chandelier; Musicgal, Failey, BlueD, and Elphiesglinda are singing a song together; Elphaba'sGirl sneaks Frex's head into a large bag; and Siarenthander and Turner Child have discovered a bottle of Frex's whiskey. In short, it's one big chaos.

Moreanswers24 finally kills Morrible with the pitchfork, then investigates the body. 'She's dead.'

'Bloody oath,' Ozzie mutters, poking the mutilated body with her foot.

BlueD starts begging if she can have the old witch's head.

'No!' Moreanswers24 pouts. 'I want it!'

'No, I do!' Siarenthander squeals.

BlueD frowns. 'Can I at least have _Frex_'s head, then?'

They all stare at Frex's headless body. I point silently at Elphaba'sGirl, who tries to hide a big bag behind her back. 'Aw, please…' she begs. 'It's Halloween… please let me have the head!'

'Everyone gets one piece of the bodies!' Izzy yells, and immediately they all pounce on Morrible and Frex's corpses. BlueD quickly grabs Morrible's head, Kat starts collecting chopped off legs, and Turner Child and Elphiesglinda are fighting over a torso. EmeraldReine tries to sneak off with a leg of her own, which causes Kat to leap to her feet and chase the other girl, shrieking. She drops some legs in the process and Nia and Scarlett quickly grab them, sharing a grin and clapping their respective legs against one another in some kind of creepy high five. Finally, everyone has found a piece and they're all satisfied.

'Shall we go back home?' BlueD says with an innocent smile. 'Halloween dinner at my place?'

Our newest members return the smile and accept the invitation gratefully. The veteran Frex Hunters – including me – just throw BlueD a look that says 'not gonna happen'.

'Let's go to _my_ house,' Failey suggests, and we all agree. We mount our broomsticks, flying high up in the air.

We sing Frex Hunter songs all the way home. Elphaba-WWW tries to slap me with Frex's arm. Izzy, who is flying right behind us, takes out her sword and lashes out, chopping off some parts of the fingers. Elphaba-WWW pouts. 'You ruined my Frex trophy!' she complains.

'Limb fight!' Scarlett yells, grabbing the leg she got from Morrible and lashing out at Nia. Nia grabs her own leg – one of Frex's - and hits Failey across the back of her head, who takes the arm she stole from Morrible and in turn slaps Ozzie. Elphaba'sGirl throws Frex's head at Moreanswers24, who dodges it; it lands in Stefy's face. She grins, however, and waves the head at Elphaba'sGirl. 'It's mine now!'

Elphaba'sGirl ducks down and snatches the head back from Stefy. Stefy tries to whack the other girl with Frex's torso, but accidentally whacks Fae Tiggular with it instead, who takes it from Stefy and holds it up so that Siarenthander can cut it in two. 'Who wants the upper torso!' Siarenthander cries, and Stefy takes it.

'And who wants the lower torso?' Fae Tiggular asks with a grin, handing it to Turner Child, who tosses it at Ozzie. Her face brightens. 'Ace!'

'You know,' Elphiesglinda informs her, 'if you keep talking like that, people are going to assume that _all _Australians talk in an almost incomprehensible dialect.'

'I have an idea,' I say suddenly, a wicked grin spreading across my face. The others look at me expectantly.

My grin widens. 'Let's head to Caricature of a Witch's house.'

* * *

We can see her in the gardens below, apparently sulking over the fact that Frex's head has gone missing from her place – she had been with us at our previous mission, back when she was still Musicalvampirelove, and she had taken Frex's head with her back then. She had always been into creepy Halloween decorations.

'Hey, you!' I call at her as we hover above her. She looks up and her face brightens upon seeing us. 'Hi! Did you go on another mission?'

'We did!' I call back at her. 'How do you feel about some Halloween decorations?'

We wave the body parts around, and her eyes start shining. 'Really?'

'Bombs away!' I yell. 'One, two, three…' We start flying through the air above Caricature of a Witch's head, dropping limbs, head, and torso's.

'It's raining limbs!' Failey sings loudly. 'Hallelujah! It's raining limbs…'

Caricature of a Witch is dancing underneath us, cackling all the while. 'This is the best Halloween _ever_!' she cries out. 'Thank you so much!' She continues to dance as we drop the body parts down into her garden.

'Happy Halloween!' we all yell down in unison. Then we turn and one by one, we fly off, faint noises of 'Go, and hunt him, and find him, and kill him…' filling the inky black night sky as we fly towards the horizon and finally disappear from view.

* * *

**Happy Halloween everyone! *cackles maniacally***


End file.
